


The Night Is Still Young

by tricksterity



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Established Relationship, M/M, Porn With Plot, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Sassy Steve, Secret Relationship, Top!Bucky, bottom!Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:37:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5549399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricksterity/pseuds/tricksterity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Party going well?” Bucky asked, and Steve rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I don’t know why you insist that I go to these things,” he sighed.</p><p>“Because then I get to have a scandalous affair with you in the bathrooms,” Bucky teased, walking across the room to press Steve to the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Night Is Still Young

**Author's Note:**

> #PROTECTBUCKYBARNES2K16  
> #PROTECTBUCKYBARNES2K17
> 
> Art in the fic is by the amazing sargeantstuckbutts, found [HERE](http://sargeantstuckbutts.tumblr.com/post/102636446524/happy-503-followers-day-steve-gets-back-from-a)

The party wasn’t loud, in fact it was quite civil – all polite talk, expensive champagne and clothes with price tags that still made Steve blanch despite the fact he knew that money had become worth less since the forties. Regardless of the fact that the party was respectable, with people who didn’t outright stare at him and the music not being the tinny bass that people these days were so fond of but a classical quartet playing on stage, Steve still felt particularly overwhelmed.

 

This was, thankfully, one of Stark’s more demure parties, one that didn’t end up with him drunk and fighting Colonel Rhodes in his Iron Man suit (and Steve had ribbed him for days once he’d seen footage of that particular night) but Sam had been whisked away by Natasha into the crowd, Clint was excitedly escorting his young protégé around, and Pepper had Tony on her arm as she talked to other international CEOs about their businesses, with Tony looking rather pleased at her. Thor wasn’t around, unfortunately, as Steve had found that the Asgardian could be incredibly good company to have at a party where he knew no one, and Doctor Banner rarely ever made it to these occasions.

 

Steve could of course go and talk to some of the newbies – notably Wanda and Vision, but he found that outside of training they didn’t have too much in common and any small talk was rather stilted. A little annoyed that his two best friends had abandoned him to go and chat with some famous person he’d never even heard of but had made Sam’s eyes light up, Steve decided to awkwardly hang around at the bar, a flute of that expensive champagne hanging loose in his hand. There were harder drinks on tap, but considering those wouldn’t get Steve drunk either, there was little enjoyment factor in the consumption of alcohol.

 

Except for that Asgardian mead Thor had brought down last time and had insisted that any ‘mortal’ who consumed it would have their faces melted off. That stuff was awesome.

 

Steve sighed and sipped his champagne, studiously not thinking of the price tag attached to it, and scanned his eyes across the room for what was probably the fifteenth time, not that he had much else to do. Sam caught his eye and grimaced in apology, conveying with a quick flurry of subtle motions that if Steve wanted him to come back over to the bar with him, he would. Steve just smiled and shook his head – Sam was enjoying whoever he was talking to, if the way he was a little flushed said anything, and Natasha was glancing at him knowingly. Steve wouldn’t take that away from him just because he felt a little awkward at a party.

 

A gorgeous older woman in a deeply cut sapphire blue dress sashayed past, attempting to be subtle at her glance to Steve and failed once he accidentally caught her eye. She clearly took that as an invitation to come and talk to him, and she started to approach through the crowd. Steve only just bit back his frustrated sigh, and frantically looked around for a reason to escape before she got to him.

 

Her nails were sharp and her fingers were like a vice on his arm, and he could’ve broken her grip very easily but that would be considered incredibly rude. He simply smiled his best war-bond-sale smile and tipped his head to her.

 

“Ma’am,” he greeted. She tittered, like she’d never been called that before in her life.

 

“I’ve been wanting to speak to you all night, Captain Rogers,” she gushed. “Come, there are some people I would love to introduce to you.” By that, Steve deduced that she actually meant ‘introduce _you_ to’ and just wanted to show off that she was somewhat acquainted with him. However much he wanted to pull away and dash outside, get on his Harley and head home, he would’ve been embarrassed in the morning at his appauling behavior, and reluctantly went with her.

 

Her immediate social circle that she introduced Steve too seemed to consist entirely of people rich enough from old money families that they actually didn’t do too much in terms of work. It was simply their name on the paperwork of their companies and investors that caused their wealth to continue to grow.

 

Steve received a considerable paycheck from SHIELD (though those had stopped coming after the whole incident with Hydra) and had accumulated enough interest on his money while he was in the ice to mean that he’d never have to want for money again in his life.

 

“I hear that you’ve donated _quite_ a sum of your income to various charities, Captain Rogers,” said one of the women, who dyed her hair a bright red and was eyeing Steve up like he was a piece of meat. He knew that he looked good in a suit, but he felt very uncomfortable under her gaze, especially considering the fact that if he hadn’t had the serum, she wouldn’t look at him twice. She wouldn’t even look at him once.

 

“I wouldn’t really call it an income, ma’am,” Steve replied, boredom making him a little more bold than he’d usually be at polite events like these. “Considering that I haven’t actually worked for most of it, I don’t feel entitled to it. There are others who have far more need of it than I do.”

 

All of the people in the conversation looked vaguely uncomfortable.

 

“That’s very… generous of you, Captain,” said one of the men who had a faint French accent.

 

“I mean, when am I ever going to use it?” Steve continued. “I couldn’t spend that much money in my lifetime if I even tried, and it’s not going with me into the afterlife. Some people work ten hour shifts six days a week and can barely earn enough to keep their heads above water, let alone pay the rent, bills, feed and clothe themselves and their family. I lived through the Great Depression, and I’d say that the levels of poverty now and then in America are about the same.”

 

The people in the conversation now looked supremely comfortable, while Steve was just comfortably settling into his element.

 

“And when you take into account the gender wage gap, and then take into account the wage gap that black, Latina and other women of colour face, and also the pay disparity that transgender and people with disabilities face…” Steve continued, “I feel that they could use my money far more effectively. Pay off their loans, pay their rent and mortgages without having to work a ridiculous amount of hours earning a minimum wage that couldn’t pay their rent even while working ten-plus hour days six or seven days a week.”

 

“You seem very… aware of _social_ issues,” the sapphire-dress woman said haltingly, like she was now beginning to regret bringing Steve into the conversation, like she’d forgotten that he used to be five-foot-three and scrappy, and that just made Steve even more comfortable.

 

“The internet is very helpful,” he said, and they laughed. Steve opened his mouth to say more, to figure out a way to make them all feel guilty that they lounged in the lap of luxury while so many people struggled just to pay rent, when they all turned as one to see someone behind Steve. He didn’t even have to turn to know that it was Tony, but the hand on his shoulder confirmed it.

  
“Didn’t think I’d find you over here, Cap,” Tony said with a grin.

 

“They kidnapped me, I didn’t have a choice,” Steve half-joked, and the group laughed like they didn’t hear the resigned undertone in his voice.

 

“Lose your better half?” Tony asked, looking around. “Where is that winged bastard?”

 

“Talking to someone I’ve never heard of,” Steve sighed. “Apparently some sort of music artist.” Tony looked around, struggling a little due to the fact that he was much shorter in person than most people thought, and eventually spotted Sam and Nat speaking to the beautiful woman that made Sam flush happily upon talking to. Tony’s jaw dropped.

 

“Access to the entire world at your fingertips and you don’t know who Nic- you know, nevermind, I’m not surprised,” Tony sighed, shaking his head. Pepper wasn’t with him, she was still off talking to the important looking CEOs, and Tony had clearly gotten bored with the business talk and had come to see what sort of drama Steve was stirring up now.

 

Tony then spoke to the group at large. “He’s caught up on a lot, but he’s still firmly entrenched in sad old-people music. He doesn’t even own an iPod, just has one of those vintage record players at his place. Though, I suppose vinyls are coming back into style in that reverse-hipster way. Just like those weird nineties chokers are back in,” he joked, and the group laughed. Steve couldn’t even sigh at Tony because he was so used to this – it wasn’t Steve’s fault that Sam had gotten him hooked on Marvin Gaye.

 

“You know, your fiancée never makes fun of my music tastes,” Steve replied. “I kinda wish she was here instead of you.”

 

“I’d be offended, but I think anyone would wish she was here,” Tony sighed wistfully. “Isn’t she perfect?” Across the room, Pepper caught his eye and winked slyly, causing Tony to melt and lean heavily on Steve while their guests laughed. Steve drained the rest of his champagne quickly, and waved down a nearby server to get a new glass. The dark-skinned girl wore a substantial amount of makeup, but it still couldn’t hide how absolutely dead tired she was, though she flashed Steve a bright, nearly genuine grin as he placed his flute onto her tray. He signaled for her to pause, and slipped a two-hundred-dollar tip into her apron with a wink.

 

Her eyes began to water a little, but all she did in response was smile at him – genuinely – and head off to get him a new glass of champagne. Nobody in their group aside from Tony noticed the exchange, as they didn’t even see the waitstaff as people.

 

“So…” one of the guests ventured, looking for a new topic. “Mr Stark, I hear that you are helping to build up a new group of Avengers with Captain Rogers here after the events at Sokovia?”

 

“Well, Cap and Nat are doing most of the work – Black Widow, sorry – and I’m really just payrolling the whole project and providing the space and facility,” Tony replied, taking a sip of his whiskey. “The two of them work fabulously together, and the new group is coming together really well. No more Sokovias under my watch.”

 

“That’s very admirable of you,” one of the women purred. Steve was sure they’d all been introduced to him by name, and usually he was very good at remembering things like that, but tonight he honestly just hadn’t cared. He’d rather go down to the nearest youth centre and chat with the kids there than these people.

 

“Not really,” Tony shrugged. “I like to think that trying to stop an entire city from being destroyed is what anyone would do if they had the means to.”

 

“Yes, well, perhaps you should be improving your early-warning systems,” a man who had said nothing thus far spoke up. “My penthouse was destroyed by that incident at the Potomac, and my other apartment in New York by that attack last year.” Steve just blinked in response.

  
“Terribly sorry that two of your houses were destroyed,” he replied, voice thick with sarcasm, before Tony could formulate a more socially-appropriate response. “That must be really hard on you. Your holiday home in Italy and beach house in New Zealand didn’t get destroyed at the same time, did they?”

 

Tony sighed, and the man’s face turned bright red. He’d clearly had too much champagne.

 

“How dare you!” he hissed. “I work hard every single day and have earned every single penny that my company has made! I built myself and those houses from nothing! When I was twenty my father dropped me in New York with a small loan of one million dollars and I had to build up my entire life from that!”

 

“Wow,” Steve drawled. “A small loan of one million dollars to build your life with? You know that amount of money would set up entire families for the rest of their lives? You have truly lived through many hardships.”

 

“Uh, Cap…” Tony tried to interject, but the man continued on, talking over the top of the host of the party, a massive social faux-pas.

 

“You know nothing of what I’ve had to endure!” the man continued on, his voice harsh but not loud. “And now thanks to your actions – or lack of, should I say – I have had my life destroyed! First by that cube _you_ failed to protect, and then by the Helicarriers _you_ crashed, by the organization that _you_ failed to stop and their metal-armed freak!”

 

Steve’s blood ran cold.

 

“Oh shit,” Tony swore. The guests all recoiled as Steve’s expression shuttered, and his hands began to shake ever so slightly. Luckily for the impolite guest, the server that Steve had just tipped returned with a tray of champagne and managed to interject herself straight between the two of them, breaking eye-contact. She smiled tightly, and held out the tray to Steve. On it sat a lone glass of champagne with a small purple ribbon hanging off the stem.

 

Steve had to calm down a little to take the glass and thank her, and Tony muttered something about giving the girl a payrise. As subtly as he could, Steve glanced at the ribbon, and saw that a message had been written on it by a familiar scrawl. It calmed him down far more than anything else could, and he tipped the glass back and drained the champagne in one go, placing the empty flute back onto the server’s tray.

 

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said to Tony, their group of acquaintances and the red-faced man who Steve had just been about to verbally eviscerate, before he turned around and strode across the massive room, stepping out into the hallway.

 

Bathrooms were dotted all along the hall, each one fully-sized, none of that communal cubicle stuff that Tony hated about public toilets, and Steve had never been so glad. He followed the ribbon’s note and entered bathroom eight, locking the door behind him. Leaning up against the countertop, dressed in tight black jeans and a matching black tank top, with hair loose and falling about his smirking face, stood the so-called ‘metal-armed freak’.

 

“Party going well?” he asked, and Steve rolled his eyes.

 

“I don’t know why you insist that I go to these things,” he sighed.

 

“Because then I get to have a scandalous affair with you in the bathrooms,” Bucky teased, walking across the room to press Steve to the door. His hands reached up and deftly undid the knot on his tie, then unbuttoned his jacket and slid it to the floor. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, heart still pounding with righteous fury at what the man out at the party said, and Bucky could clearly sense this. He pulled Steve back to the countertop by the belt loops on his dress pants, whirled them around, and hauled Steve up onto the counter.

 

A thrill raced up Steve’s spine like it always did whenever Bucky effortlessly used his strength, just like before the war when Steve had been skinny as hell and Bucky’s to move around as he pleased. Bucky winked before leaning in and capturing Steve’s lips in his, devouring his mouth as he clenched his hands in the material of Steve’s dress pants.

 

Body surging, Steve caught the hem of Bucky’s tank top and raised it so he could place his hands on Bucky’s skin, sliding his right hand up to rest over Bucky’s heart, feeling the scar that crudely joined the metal of his arm to his flesh. Bucky grinned into the kiss, pulling away slightly so he could catch Steve’s bottom lip between his teeth. Steve groaned and pulled back fully so he could whip Bucky’s top off, running his hands over the skin that it revealed, tweaking his nipples cheekily as he did so.

 

                                   

 

“Fuckin’ tease,” Bucky sighed, though he couldn’t quite wipe the grin off his face. Even Steve had to admit there was quite a thrill in secretly meeting up with the Winter Soldier at a party where anyone could hear them when everyone still thought that Bucky was a criminal at large that Steve was pursuing. The only people who knew that Bucky had been found was Nat and Sam, and they’d both had huge parts to play in Bucky’s ongoing recovery.

 

Bucky’s hands moved down Steve’s shirt, unbuttoning it as he did so before he finally reached Steve’s belt. It only took a few seconds for the belt to be unbuckled and on the floor, and Bucky gripped Steve’s hips, fingers dipping under his waistband, and Steve groaned impatiently.

 

The only warning Steve had was Bucky’s smirk – the same one that the nuns at their school had called ‘devilish’ – before his pants were around his ankles and Bucky had descended to take Steve’s cock into his mouth.

 

“Fuck!” Steve swore, hands reflexively going to Bucky’s hair as he tipped his head back onto the cool surface of the mirror. He couldn’t help but rock his hips into Bucky’s mouth, though it didn’t do much considering that Bucky had such a strong grip on Steve’s hips, metal and flesh digging in and most likely leaving bruises that wouldn’t stay for nearly as long as he needed them to. He tightened his grip in Bucky’s hair but didn’t pull, just used it as an anchor as his mouth fell open and he panted into the bathroom, throat contracting as he swallowed and tried not to call out Bucky’s name so loud everyone at the party would know what was going on in here.

 

Bucky pulled back just as Steve’s back began to arch, feeling his orgasm building, and he couldn’t quite stop the whine that fell from his mouth as he did so. Bucky laughed and pulled him forward by the opened collar of his shirt, licking into Steve’s mouth with the same intensity that the Winter Soldier had on a mission. He pulled out a packet of lube from seemingly nowhere – he really was keen on the whole secret affair in the bathroom thing – and Steve scooted forward to the edge of the counter, wrapping his legs around Bucky’s hips for balance, and moaned into Bucky’s mouth at the slick finger that entered him.

 

“Fuck,” he gasped, pulling away from Bucky’s lips to breathe, resting his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder, rocking his hips slightly into the movements of Bucky’s fingers. He clutched Bucky’s back like a lifeline, fingers digging into his back with as much bruising force as Bucky had earlier, and he felt the sudden exhale of breath on the side of his neck as Bucky huffed a laugh.

 

“You’re always so sweet for it, aren’t you doll?” Bucky murmured, voice low and dark, and that voice always got Steve so far gone. Steve rocked his hips harder, curling his back further to make the angle easier on him because he liked he closeness he had with Bucky, his face pressed into Bucky’s neck and Bucky’s metal arm encasing his back, holding them together.

 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Bucky crooned, slipping a second finger inside of Steve, and when he got like this Steve couldn’t even make words, just whine and groan and let Bucky do whatever he wanted. He slipped in a third finger at the same time that he slid his metal arm down Steve’s back to grip onto the underside of his thigh, hauling it up to wrap around Bucky’s waist for a better angle. Steve nearly choked on air at the sudden, much deeper angle, and tipped himself back so he was leaning against the mirror again, chest heaving.

 

He opened his eyes to see Bucky grinning down at him, something like awe in his eyes, but then Steve had to snap them shut when Bucky’s fingers moved _just_ right and the world exploded for a second. He let out a loud groan that had Bucky laughing, and didn’t care about the uncomfortable way his shoulders were pressing into the mirror as he arched his back to tip his hips forward into Bucky’s fingers. He couldn’t stop the whines that escaped his throat every time Bucky hit his prostate, and eventually it was just too much.

 

He shoved Bucky back, out of him, and spun Bucky around so he was the one sitting on the counter and all but ripped his jeans off. Bucky pulled him up onto the counter – thankfully sturdy and made of marble – so that Steve could straddle him. Steve coated Bucky’s cock in lube and then sunk down onto it, eyes fluttering shut as he did so.

 

“Shit, Steve,” Bucky swore quietly. “Look at you, babydoll, damn. You look like a goddamn angel up there.”

 

“Shut up,” Steve breathed, finally bottoming out, thighs flush with his calves, feeling Bucky’s knuckles drift up the outside of Steve’s thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Steve surged forward to kiss Bucky, hands taking hold of his hips, manouvering him up onto his knees so he could let gravity slam him back down onto Bucky’s cock, hitting him just right and lighting up his world like he was caught by lightning.

 

“Oh, fuck,” they breathed out at the same time. Bucky grinned up at Steve, and gently brought up a hand to cradle Steve’s jaw, leaning up to place a soft kiss right at the edge of his mouth. Steve smiled and caught his lips in a quick kiss before pulling back to brace his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, leveraging himself up to slam himself back down onto Bucky. The pleasure shuddered through him and he tipped his head back, eyes closed and mouth open, gasping for breath like he was six sizes smaller with lungs that didn’t want to work. Bucky’s arms snaked around his middle as he pressed kisses to Steve’s chest and collarbone, as well as he could with Steve rising and falling and grinding in his lap.

 

“God, I love your tiny waist,” Bucky murmured. “I love everything about you, baby, even when you were as small and fragile as a doll.”

 

“Wasn’t fragile,” Steve grunted, landing heavily in Bucky’s lap, feeling his orgasm begin to curl through him.

 

“You thought you were goddamn indestructible,” Bucky grinned. “Still think you are now. Either way you were just fuckin’ perfect, sweetheart, still got the same big blue eyes and soft plush lips and rosy cheeks and those dark, beautiful lashes.”

 

“What the fuck kind of dirty talk is this?” Steve asked, biting his lip to hide the smile that threatened to emerge on his face despite his words; he wasn’t quite able to stop the flush from rising to his cheeks.

 

“You want dirty talk, Stevie?” Bucky asked, voice hitching a little as Steve ground down on his cock, panting. “Don’t wanna hear about all the ways I love you?”

 

“Right now I’d prefer to hear about how you wanna hold me down and fuck me so hard that I have to limp outta here to the party and everyone will know what we’ve been doing,” Steve replied breathlessly, and Bucky huffed a laugh.

 

“You seem to be pretty good at that,” Bucky replied, breath hitching at the end as Steve tightened a little, muscles clenching as he felt his orgasm so close, and Steve released one of Bucky’s shoulders to wrap a hand around his own cock, just that little extra to push him over the edge.

 

“How about…” Steve gasped, leaning forward to whisper in Bucky’s ear, “when we get home tonight, you and your pretty thighs sit on my face and you can grab the headboard and moan and whimper as I eat you out?”

 

“Jesus fuck, Steve,” Bucky breathed, and then Steve’s world blinked out of existence for a second as Bucky’s hips hitched up just as he pushed himself down, and his orgasm rushed through him so hard he was shaking, and he only vaguely felt Bucky tense up and come inside him.

 

It took a few moments for the world to come back into focus, and Steve pulled back from where he’d all but collapsed onto Bucky’s chest. The ex-assassin was smiling softly up at him, and Steve reached up to brush Bucky’s hair away from his face.

 

“So,” Steve said.

 

“So,” Bucky replied.

 

“I’d say that secret bathroom sex affair was a success,” Steve teased, and Bucky rolled his eyes but laughed anyway. Steve grimaced a little as he kneeled up, feeling disappointedly empty but also quite sticky. He grabbed the handtowel on the other side of the sink and used it to clean the two of them up and then hopped back down to the ground. He re-dressed and let Bucky tie his tie for him (he’d always had more experience due to his army uniform) but he couldn’t help the fact that he looked disheveled and definitely sexed up – his hair was mostly fixed back into place but his face was flushed and his lips were pink and swollen.

 

Bucky leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips, and he smiled.

 

“See you tonight?” Steve asked.

 

“You wouldn’t miss me and my pretty thighs for the world,” Bucky replied, and Steve slapped him upside the head. “Try not to murder anyone tonight, doll.”

 

“Pot meets kettle, Buck,” Steve teased. He waited for Bucky to pull his jeans and shirt on before he left the bathroom and strode back to the party, trusting that if Bucky could get into Stark Tower without anyone knowing, then getting out would be even easier. He snagged another glass of champage from the server he’d tipped, biting the inside of his mouth as she gave him an appraising once-over, and headed straight over to Sam and Nat, who were now mingling with Clint, Tony and some of the others.

 

“Well look who it is,” Sam teased as Steve joined them. “Seems like _someone_ has had a very good night.” Natasha looked at Steve knowingly, and he just shrugged back at her, plastering an overly-innocent expression on his face.

 

“Wilson, are you implying that _Captain America_ just had casual bathroom sex at _my_ party?” Tony asked, disbelieving and affronted. “No way.”

 

“Hate to break it to you Tony, but I’m not a ninety-five year old virgin,” Steve replied. “And if I’m honest, I’m still not entirely sure where this public perception of me being some paragon of law and virtue came from.”

 

“Did you not read the history books properly?” Nat piped up. “Steve here disobeyed direct orders from his commanding officer, hijacked a plane and parachuted into occupied territory on an unsanctioned solo mission to rescue his friend and set over a hundred captured soldiers on a rampage of a Hydra facility. Then turned himself in for disciplinary action.”

 

“Or all those times he got into backalley fights when he was ninety-five pounds soaking wet and couldn’t throw a right hook to save himself,” Sam added. Steve wasn’t sure whether he should be grateful or bashful, and instead opted to take a neutral sip of his champagne.

 

“Liking to get into fights doesn’t automatically equate to casual party sex, guys,” Tony sighed.

 

“It did to your dad,” Steve quipped, and Tony’s eyes bugged out of their sockets as Sam laughed and jeered at his expression.

 

“Please tell me someone got that on video,” Sam asked, and Kate Bishop was holding up her phone, barely able to contain her laughter. “You gotta vine that shit.”

 

“Already uploaded,” she replied, and Nat approvingly dipped her head to the young Hawkeye.

 

“Drink to forget, baby,” Tony muttered to himself, downing his whiskey. “Drink to forget.”

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit so I didn't mean to actually write porn but I guess it happened? Sorry if it's crap, my delicate asexuality is not experienced in these matters.
> 
> Also, the person Sam is gushing over is Nicki Minaj. And no, "The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese" Donald "I have a great relationship with the blacks" Trump wasn't invited to Tony's gala but it's someone just as stupid as him, I guess.
> 
> Also I just realized that I read the line “Wilson, are you implying that Captain America just had casual bathroom sex at my party?” in the same tone as "I've never heard of George Glass at _our_ sküle."
> 
> Heads up, unfortunately that beautiful line about Bucky's pretty thighs is something I can't take credit for. Original post is [here](http://tricksterity.tumblr.com/post/127689695336)on tumblr.
> 
> **If you liked my writing and you're interested in me writing something for you, click[HERE](http://tricksterity.tumblr.com/post/140544637431) for more information! **
> 
> Art is by sargeantstuckbutts on tumblr!


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